Let me back up. During my Creativity Colonic, I explored my personal line-in-the-sand between laziness and rest. I sat with the phenomenon of achieving and producing nothing. As someone who has tied personal worth and deservedness to achievement, this was deeply uncomfortable but deeply important to sit with for a few weeks.

And while it’s due in large part to plenty of inner factors, getting back on Substack — specifically in the Notes algorithm to grow — feels blocked. Feels like I’m trying to run a sprint through the deep end of a pool.

I know what I should do. I know the strategies around growth (shoutout to Olivia for teaching me all of them!). But when I sit down at my laptop — delightful candle burning, cozy outfit out, joyful beverage ready — I just don’t. Can’t? I end up doing anything but.

I watched Season 3 of Shrinking (amazing show on Apple tv+) and was struck by something one of the main characters (hi, Harrison Ford) said:

It’s fairly common advice. His character certainly isn’t the first person to say it. I certainly didn’t think I’d ever be so affected by this particular wisdom.

But here I am, taking more time than I’d thought, more time than I’d like, to get back on the horse.

Expressing myself vulnerably and authentically on Substack means something to me. It’s important to me.

I keep reminding myself of this new feeling I’ve seen from a lot of people creating:

The more we shine our brightest light unapologetically, the more we give others permission to do the same.

So, I’m being kind to myself. Giving myself a freaking break for quite possibly the first time in my adult life, but remembering that if there’s something I feel even a little bit called to create, there’s equally someone out there who needs to hear it.

So now, without further ado, a topic that’s been on my mind constantly for the past few weeks….

Wtf even is "Nervous System Regulation”??

“Nervous system regulation” is a big thing nowadays, huh?

I can hardly scroll through Instagram, listen to one of my usual podcasts or even read a novel that doesn’t at least mention the nervous system and the personal imperative to regulate it.

What does that even mean — “regulating” one’s nervous system? I’m someone who follows a strong handful of the popular wellness influencers online, I listen to functional medicine podcasts quite a bit, and would say I’m pretty into both alternative medicine and using lifestyle and diet as medicine.

So why did it shock me while listening to (of course, if you know me!) an episode To Be Magnetic’s Expanded podcast with Sarah Baldwin the other day about it that gave me a completely new take, and made me realize my idea of nervous system regulation was only a small piece of the puzzle?

Listen to the episode

What I’ve misunderstood

Listening to this podcast gave me a huge lightbulb moment…. I’ve been confusing stress management with nervous system regulation.

Of course, stress is piece of the puzzle. No nervous system can operate optimally if it’s constantly in fight-or-flight mode, analyzing every moment of the day for whether there’s a threat present.

So over the years, I’ve curated tools in my toolbox to help cope when stressors come up, such as:

• Putting my phone in a drawer and reading something

• Taking five minutes to do a breathing exercise, like one that comes with my Oura ring subscription

• Going for a walk in the natural light outside

• Pouring a glass of San Pellegrino with lime juice in the summer, or brewing a cup of tea in the winter

Not to brag…actually, yes, to brag indeed!!…my Oura app tells me that my stress management literally can’t get any better.

However, this episode explained brilliantly how there’s something much bigger going on below the surface.

The full(er) picture

Picture your nervous systems as your subconscious guardian angel. No matter what, its greatest and only intention is to keep you safe, especially emotionally and mentally, at any cost.

And assuming you are alive (nod your head “yes” for me) your nervous system has unilaterally succeeded in its mandate to keep you safe and alive thus far your entire life.

When something comes up as your go about your day, whether it’s an external stimulus or an internal desire, our nervous system is the line of defense it filters through.

Odds are, the base experience of whatever this new stimulus is is something your nervous system has encountered before. And the way your nervous system handled it then—successfully, seeing as you are still alive now—becomes historical data for the way your nervous system handles every similar stimulus moving forward. Because it worked the first time, right?

A couple examples to help bring it to life:

• You were bullied in middle school by a group of mean kids. You responded by complimenting them while simultaneously belittling yourself, and they mostly left you alone. Now, when you feel attacked by others, your nervous system’s instinct is for you to put yourself down.

• You had an unsafe home environment growing up, and could never predict your parents’ moods. You responded by making yourself scarce and being compliant. Now, when you sense instability in those close to you, your nervous system tells you to keep your head down and follow their rules.

• You had lots of big, wild, unhinged, creative ideas as a child that your caregiver never indulged. You responded by shutting down the part of your that innately dreamt big. Now, when you have a big idea, your nervous system’s response is to shoot it down before it’s even fully formed.

The moment you start going towards, or considering opening up to the thing you want, your nervous system immediately looks back to its historical data from lived experience. Are you trying to: Use your voice? Take up space? Take a risk? Make mistakes? Ask for help? Be your full self? Rely on someone else?

That was not safe in the past! Or, it was not available to us so we have no data on it, which is even scarier! Your nervous system thinks to itself, “why would she do that?? The last time she did that we were… fill in the negative outcome.” Harmed? Ridiculed? Ignored?

Thus, your nervous system blocks you from the thing you’re stepping towards that you consciously desire. Suddenly that guardian angel becomes your warden in the name of keeping you safe from perceived harm.

How your nervous system factors in manifesting your authentic dream life

If your nervous system believes that the thing you’re stepping towards is not safe—even if it’s something that consciously, you know is wonderful, beautiful, safe, and the best thing that could ever happen to you—it will stop you in your tracks, one way or another.

It may force you to shut down, to procrastinate, to have analysis paralysis — basically the ol’ fight, flight, freeze or fawn.

Have you ever had something personally challenging but that you’re really excited for? It’s on your to-do list for the day, and you keep looking forward to working on it, you daydream about actually doing it, you fantasize about how great it will feel to start on…. all of a sudden, it’s 8pm, and you’ve just finished cleaning your bathroom for the third time? That’s your nervous system fighting hard to keep you safe from stepping toward something it believes is unsafe for you.

I once heard a favorite podcast host of mine joke that her apartment is never cleaner than when she’s moving towards a new launch for her business.

How MY nervous system is showing up this season

“One of the predominant reasons why so many of us struggle to live the lives we are called to live is because our nervous system does not yet know that that life is safe for us.

~ Sarah Baldwin

• It’s stopping me from expressing authentically as someone who spends a lot of money on things that bring me pleasure and inspiration rather than utility.

• It’s leading me to procrastinate and put off posting Notes and getting a bit more strategic about Cosmic Crumbs🍪, which I know I ought to in order to grow it and monetize it.

• It had me catch a cold right after having a big beautiful Alignment coaching session with Eric Roberts, where I had some really exciting breakthroughs that I wanted to start putting into action (check out the podcast ep I found him through here)

Our nervous systems would rather we be physically ill than face the underlying emotional hardship that it experienced trauma from in the past. In its eyes, it’s keeping us safe from that harm it knows is scary and terrible!

If I were to blow up on Substack right now, and get hundreds and hundreds of paid subscribers—or frankly, start any number of other businesses I’ve been marinating on—and be in a position to quit my corporate job that brings me little to no soul-level fulfillment, my nervous system wouldn’t be ready to really receive that blessing.

I’d freeze, unsure of what to do with that much aligned abundance.

Because my nervous system is still learning how to allow myself to accept myself as whole, worthy, and perfect the way I am.

I was bullied in middle school and high school. My shadow word is “awkward.” My nervous system knows that the last time I tried to be myself, to take up space, to have friends and be accepted and respected, I was ridiculed and outcast. Called awkward.

So why would my nervous system want me to go towards a scenario where I’m taking up space and living out loud as my fullest self? It wants nothing more than to protect me!

The truth is, I don’t feel ready right now in this moment to find financial success in things that bring me fulfillment and that come from my passion & purpose. I want to. I very, very much want to. I yearn for it. I even kick myself sometimes, in my less kind moments, for taking so long to get there.

But I know that befriending my nervous system and my inner child parts is the next step. And I’m so grateful I get to deepen my relationship with myself in this way, every day.

Shoutout to a writer and fellow TBMer——whose post “The fear of visibility is a double-edged sword” partly inspired this one, and even more importantly, the courage I needed to hit send.

Every single birthday year before this one, I never would’ve called attention to it, let alone posted about it.

Every single year before this, I’d hoped that all my coworkers would forget.

Every single year before this, I wouldn’t have mentioned it to even my friends in the week or two beforehand.

When I was leaving for a college trip with a group of students I was friendly with on July 9, 2016, one of the administrators realized it was my birthday and asked me in front of everyone. I was quietly mortified and quickly said “yes, but I don’t really celebrate it” and changed the subject immediately.

In years past, and hell, even now sometimes, I’ve felt frivolous being celebrated for something I didn’t earn or achieve. I’ve literally said when explaining how it felt to someone, “I didn’t do anything, you know. Time simply marched on.”

I now recognize that the aversion to being celebrated simply for existing is horrid, awful shame. I’ve felt utterly unworthy of being celebrated without earning. Without achieving. Without proving myself.

But now, this year, I’m trying really hard to let myself be celebrated without having to prove that I’m worthy of it. I am worthy of it, simply because I exist. We all are.

It’s my birthday. My 29th year around the sun. And I’m here. I exist. I was created by all the stars and the planets and the Godly forces conspiring to bring me to life in this exact form. And I am worthy of being celebrated and honored regardless of anything beyond that fact. ❤️

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1. There is always, always a silver lining. You get to choose whether to look for it.

2. Comfortable sneakers > cute sandals on vacation is always the move. F*ck how you look in the photos.

3. I know what I value, and I’ve come a long way in how those values are reflected in my spending.

4. I’d take a home cooked meal with organic ingredients over the coolest new restaurant any day of the week.

5. 9:20pm is the ideal time for my head to hit the pillow.

6. I prefer seeing one friend at a time and doing a full deep dive into the most intimate corners of our lives than going out for a group outing and seeing lots of people at once.

7. 99.9% (my rough estimate) of perfumes are made with toxic fragrance and even if they weren’t, I’m just not a scent person.

8. I’ve done years of deep inner work. I’m very proud of the level of self awareness I’ve cultivated from it.

9. I don’t believe in sunscreen, and I don’t care if you think I’m a conspiracy theorist.

10. I have insecurity/shadow over being seen as someone who spends money on things that bring me pleasure and inspiration rather than utility.

11. Alcohol can be fun, but it’s never, ever worth the headache the next morning, after your mid-twenties.

12. Self-respect is the sexiest thing one can wear.

13. My soul is calling me to move to Italy for a year, and let it be a trust fall with the universe. My 29th year will be the one where my fiancé and I will decide whether we’re going to truly pursue making it happen.

14. Good posture can change literally everything.

15. Handwritten notes on thoughtful stationery is my love language.

16. My corporate path thus far has afforded me a lot — both monetarily and mentally. As much as I’m readying myself for a more fulfilling and impactful next chapter, I’m grateful for the launchpad and safety net it’s giving me.

17. Time is the most luxurious and aspirational resource of all.

18. There’s nothing wrong with purchasing an $88 candle, but it will not bring you fulfillment — despite what your favorite influencer portrays.

19. I deeply enjoy my own company. Perhaps more than anyone else on earth’s company. Going to a café and sitting with myself is my favorite thing.

20. I’m having trouble believing that I can make more money doing impactful, passion-driven work than I do at my corporate job. But that’s a limiting belief, and I’m working on overcoming it.

21. Money does buy happiness. It does not, however, buy fulfillment, sanity, love, peace, worthiness or self acceptance.

22. There are few things more relaxing at night than a cup of tea brewed while fully present.

23. In proper Mean Girls fashion, calling someone else fat won’t make you any thinner. Being jealous of someone else’s success at the thing you aspire to won’t make you any better at it.

24. Beginning my day with a 20-minute walk in the sunshine is my rock. My ritual. My sacred thing.

25. There is nary anything more delicious than warm bread dipped in proper EVOO.

26. I’m in better physical + mental + spiritual health now than I was in my early twenties, and I’m only getting healthier. That might be the thing I’m most proud of in this season.

27. Judgement is our own shame leaving the body.

28. I am just as worthy, deserving, and whole after achieving everything I’ll ever desire to as I am achieving nothing at all.

29. I am extraordinarily blessed.

With the inner work I’ve been doing the last few years, I’ve come to recategorize my relationship with perfectionism. From one of contempt and conflict to that of respect and even symbiosis.

I’ve always been a perfectionist, even as a little girl. Though as I’ve grown up and continue to work on my relationship with myself, I’ve been grateful for the chance to unwrap and re-package a pattern that I’ve long considered infuriating.

Today’s writing goes out to all the perfectionists, the recovering “control freaks”, and anyone who’s ever delayed putting something out there because it “just wasn’t quite right yet.”

One of my earliest memories as a child, maybe four or five, is of hearing a faint knock on my bedroom door. I peered up from what I was in the middle of, and saw my dad poke his head into my room, then ask, in a soft, quiet voice, what I was doing.

It was the middle of the night, and I’d woken him up. In his defense, I’d been making a decent bit of noise well after midnight, hours after I should have been sound asleep.

Because I hadn’t been able to actually fall asleep for some reason or another, I decided to make the most of my time awake. I, for no reason at all, had decided to rearrange all the furniture in my room to pass the time. As a four-year-old.

If I drop into that memory and channel my highest self to look over my little four-year-old’s shoulder as she perfected for no reason, I imagine my highest self lovingly explaining to younger me what a compulsion is, and why she might be feeling it.

There’s no reason to fret, little one. Maybe you gave the wrong answer to the teacher today, maybe someone pulled on your pigtails or called you a name. That’s alright, darling girl. You cannot control how others behave, but you can choose how you let it affect you. You can choose, one day, if you aren’t able to today, for a worrisome experience to become a window into your inner world. Your inner confidence. Your own God-given right to find peace within, no matter what happens on the outside.

What I learned, as recently as the last couple of months, is that perfectionism and controlling tendencies usually go hand-in-hand.

Through my work doing To Be Magnetic1 (discount code in the footnotes if you’re interested 💕) and the ability to ask my parents about specific instances from my childhood—a blessing that I appreciate not everyone has—I’ve recognized that I felt a great need for control and perfection as a child, adolescent, young adult, and still today.

👋🏻 If my writing has helped you feel a little more seen, inspired, or aligned, I’d be so honored if you’d consider subscribing and/or pledging your support for this next chapter—where I’ll be offering community challenges, live sessions, interviews with people who’ve left conventional employment to pursue their passions, and even more ways for us to grow towards our most authentic, thriving lives together 💫

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During TBM’s Return To Magic December challenge last year, which served as a gateway into my inner child and manifestation work, I asked my mother if she could remember anything about me as a little girl where I displayed a yearning for control, or any compulsive tendency behaviors.

A memory came to mind for her, from when I was in the third grade. I was dressed to the nines and having a ripper of a Wednesday night at the Albany Convention Center as I attended my very first concert, the Cheetah Girls Live. I’d been decked out in a cheetah-print bubble mini skirt that I’d begged for my mom to buy me at Limited Too, with black leggings underneath and some sort of no doubt equally fabulous top.

As my mother retold it, while all the other little girls were screaming and singing their hearts out, I was sitting in my seat, head bowed as I wrote down everything I saw in my notebook, not wanting to forget a single thing. I barely remember anything from that concert.

But I’m realizing that perfectionism is a protective part of me. When my perfectionism rears its head, it’s acting as a way for my nervous system to sound the alarm. At what? Against whom? Sometimes it’s not always clear. But I’ve gotten to the point where I’m able to recognize it not only somewhat easily, but in the moment as it’s happening.

Just last week, I spent hours just staring at my Substack draft screen, waiting for the perfect blend of inspiration and motivation to strike.

Rather than getting mad at my perfectionism and pressuring myself to squash it down, I’ve learned to regard it as a gift.

After all, it’s an instantaneous feedback mechanism that alerts me of some perceived threat. I then have the opportunity to regard and assess that threat, and have a thoughtful, kind conversation with that part of me about why I’m so affected.

I’m sure it’s no surprise that the threat is basically never as bad as I’m perceiving it to be.

I think I used to believe that healing meant becoming a person who completely released perfectionism. Someone effortlessly relaxed, unbothered, utterly free—probably barefoot in a linen dress somewhere in the Italian countryside 🤷🏼‍♀️

But I don’t think that anymore.

I’m beginning to question whether so many of the qualities we try to tamp down are actually protective parts that developed for a reason. And maybe the inner work isn’t to muscle them into disappearing, but to lovingly let them know they don’t have to work so hard anymore.

So when my perfectionism & controlling tendencies inevitably tap me on the shoulder again—and trust me, they absolutely will—I hope I can continue meeting them with curiosity instead of contempt. Because underneath all that controlling and striving and nitpicking is usually just someone trying her best to feel safe, worthy, and deeply seen.

And really, aren’t we all?

Resources

If this topic resonates, I’ve included a few resources below that I’ve used to help explore the idea that our perfectionism, control, anxiety, and other protective tendencies may actually be parts of us trying to help.

Much of this work is informed by or overtly references Internal Family Systems, and if you feel called to go especially deep into your own parts, professional support and guidance can be incredibly valuable.

1. Expanded podcast | I listen to every single episode of the TBM podcast, and I’ve truly had countless lightbulb moments about myself and my inner world as I’ve listened.

2. Self Help book | This is Gabby Bernstein’s take on IFS work, and it was really a marvel to read about the therapeutic foundation of how our parts influence our everyday lives, as told in a very down-to-earth way.

3. No Bad Parts book | Dr. Richard Schwartz is the founder of the IFS therapy method, and this is the OG book that explains it. Great place to start if you want the foundational elements.

4. To Be Magnetic | I only began my TBM work in November last year, and I can confidently say it’s been the thing that set my life on a new trajectory, and a much more exciting direction.

Until next time!

It sounds indulgent just writing it down.

It brings to mind imagery of a queen, flush with her little (and large) luxuries, lounging the day away while eating bon bons and being attended to.

Don’t you think? What comes to your mind when you think of rest? Visualize having a rest. Resting. Take a good long rest.

Do any feelings come up? Maybe guilt? Shame? Resentment? Judgement? Decadency?

Or maybe none of those. Maybe you’ve come to cultivate a harmonious relationship to rest. One that feels balanced and blessed. If that’s the case, I absolutely salute you.

This week (after taking a rest of my own from my writing last week!) I hope to reach the person whose relationship to rest, like mine, is…complicated.

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Let us keep in mind that rest is a basic biological need. And no, I’m not talking about sleep. Sleep is a make-or-break, do-or-die bodily function. I’m talking about taking a five-minute pause from a project to breathe deeply. I’m talking about going outside to see sunlight for a moment or two after sitting and staring at a screen for five hours. And also yes, I’m talking about sitting in your favorite comfy chair and reading a pointless but delectable romance novel for hours and hours just because.

If we’re operating under the belief that the divine created these bodies we inhabit here on earth, then the divine also meant for us to allow ourselves time—proper time—to rejuvenate and revitalize our minds and bodies so we may go forth, renewed, to be the best us we can be.

So with that, let’s have a little collective reframe, or simply a revisit, of why each and every one of us is entirely deserving of rest in the eyes of the universe, and why, despite a culture that usually says otherwise, we never have to feel bad about it.

It’s our God-given right, after all.

This week, I’ve been thinking about the conscious intent to slow down. About rest. About rejuvenation. And how at times, I feel I have to earn rest. How rest—a basic and biological need—tends to be framed in our modern world as the hard-won prize at the end of an extended sprint.

This particular framing may be unconscious. Where perhaps, mid-task, you feel for just a fraction of a second that you’ve reached the end of your best productivity and could do with a short break to refresh.

Or it may be fully conscious, where an internal alarm has started blaring. Perhaps on a Thursday night, the long slog of the work week felt deeply, you keep working longer than you have to because you tell yourself the weekend is almost here, so you may as well crank out as much as possible before stopping.

Both of these hesitations are present because we know we’ll have a break soon. Can’t we just wait until then? We’re already grinding away, so we may as well keep doing so since we’ve got a break on the horizon.

Rest, a choice that we assign so very much weight and consideration to, is a deeply personal endeavor. In our society, it tends to say something about us without saying anything at all. Our values. Our work ethic. Maybe even our worth.

In my own case, with the history, experiences, and perspectives I have that all add up to make me uniquely me, giving myself permission to rest usually runs parallel with my self worth at that moment.

Since my overarching 2026 goal is to live my highest self-worth year yet, I’ve been exploring my relationship with rest lately.

Two weeks ago, I was feeling uninspired to write. My creativity reservoir had simply run out. Previously, I would knuckle through. Previously, I would force myself to write something. Previously, I would ignore my softer needs and just put out something, even if I wasn’t particularly proud of the end result.

And if I wasn’t even able to do those things, I’d be unkind to myself. I’d give myself grief. I’d tell myself I was being lazy. Being intentionally unproductive. Acting like a failure.

You may be thinking, “oh gosh this poor girl, she’s awful to herself!” But if the tables were turned, how would you treat yourself for bowing out of something because you simply didn’t have it in you to perform?

But since those self-imposed critiques are certainly not in line with my highest self worth, I challenged myself to do something about it. I challenged myself to forgive. To forgive myself for not performing one week. To forgive myself for breaking my publishing streak. For letting down the people who look forward to these Friday posts. I am eternally grateful to you! Words can’t even express 💕

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But then I realized, there was nothing to forgive. I had a divine moment of clarity where I thought: I had already lived in high self worth by not forcing a creative project when I didn’t have the energy or inspiration to. I had honored where I was in that moment during the week. In fact, I had every reason to be proud of myself.

I had only fallen out of my divine self by putting myself down, by scolding and demoralizing myself for taking that rest I so very much needed. I had lived in high self worth. And that was a Godly, glorious feeling.

And just to be clear, I’m not making light of the very real commitments many of us hold. I have them too. Things we must stick with, no matter how tired or tender we feel. This reflection isn’t about abandoning what matters or opting out of responsibility; it’s about recognizing when rest is possible, that it’s never something we need to earn, and that enjoying it without strings can benefit us beautifully in the long run.

If nothing else, I hope this has gently nudged you to give yourself permission to rest — fully, unapologetically, and with high self-worth — if your life allows for it right now. This weekend feels like an invitation: to slow your pace, soften your expectations, and tend to yourself the way you would someone you love deeply. You don’t have to earn rest by exhaustion, and you don’t have to justify it to anyone. May you take the pause you deserve, and may it restore you more than you realized you needed.

Ideas for quick “micro” rests:

• Step outside and look up at the sky

• Do a 3- or 5-minute breathing exercise

• Pour yourself a glass of water and drink it slowly

• Stand and stretch your limbs

• Light a candle in your workspace

Ideas for longer reset opportunities:

• Sit down with a fiction book for as long as you darn well please

• Take 1-2 hours to work on a personal project

• Block time to journal about whatever’s been on your mind lately

• Go for a walk and challenge yourself to notice something new

• Lie down and do nothing but listen to a podcast you’ve been meaning to

What’s something you’ve done to rest lately? Please do share 💫

I’ve been mulling over the driving thought behind my post from last week. (Also, apologies for that spelling error you may have seen in your subject line! Nothing “scared” about self care lol)

My message, when you boil it all down, was that God and Godly energy reside within all of us. So when you take care of your body, mind, and spirit, you are then nurturing your relationship to God and giving the divine magic of the universe a place to thrive within you.

But I didn’t touch upon a quote that originally came to me a few years ago as I read Marianne Williamson’s A Return to Love. It’s a thought I’ve returned to again and again the last couple of years, especially as it relates to self care—and more importantly, self-worth.

That notion is:

Woah. Take a moment to reread that.

Now let it absorb.

Marianne explains, “We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,
talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. We were born to manifest the glory of God that is within us.”

Amid a week where I’ve been thinking a lot about health (brought on by the new Dietary Guidelines for Americans being released, getting my third year of Function Health test results back, and battling the persistent sniffle from my new year’s week cold) I had a lightbulb moment.

💡 What is the relationship between self care and self-worth?

When you practice self care via physical health, mental and emotional support, and especially faith, you are setting yourself up for a life of true thriving.

But why do we sometimes completely ignore what we know are the best ways to take care of ourselves? It’s easy to accuse ourselves of a lack of willpower. Or not enough education around the topic. Or that we can’t afford it. Or we’re living in an environment that doesn’t support us. The list can grow as long as our imaginations can take it.

But what if the pain, shame, trauma and programming that every single human on earth experiences has convinced us that, at our absolute core, we are not worthy of becoming our best self? Of becoming Godly? Of tapping into a version of us that is “powerful beyond measure?”

I’ve got to be honest—I think 99% of us have become convinced (myself included).

I think as a collective, we’ve become largely disconnected from the almighty, life-giving and life-affirming force that is the God within us.

But I know with complete certainty we can reconnect.

Over the last few years I’ve read every book, listened to every podcast, followed every influencer I’ve felt aligns with the version of physical health and spiritual harmony I’d like to achieve. I’ve learned a great deal.

But on the days where I stress eat so much I give myself a raging stomach cramp, on the days where I stay up so late binging a worthless show that I wake up exhausted the next morning, on the days where I tell myself I’m not good enough….those are the days where I disconnect from my highest self. Those are the days where I disconnect from the God within me.

So, it is entirely possible to be extremely well informed, have all the facts and figures we need to motivate us, and lose touch with our self respect and self worth in an instant.

BUT… who the hell am I NOT to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?!? Who are YOU not to be??

You saw in my first post of the new year that my goal for 2026, among many things, is to have my highest self-worth year yet.

What I really mean by that is that I aim to have my Godliest, most divine year yet—where I feel so in touch with the brilliant, wild, and gorgeous forces of the universe that I truly have moments, however small, however fleeting, where I feel powerful beyond measure. Where I feel Godly beyond measure. Where I feel I am a living force of the endless benevolence of the universe, and to go forth and share that benevolence with my fellow souls.

From the bottom of my heart, I wish you the same.

If you let yourself dream for the next three days about what your mind, your life, your spirit, your connections and relationships, your faith could look like if you made the courageous decision to practice radical, unapologetic, unrelenting self respect, how would you feel?

How would your mind react? Your body? Would you (understandably) feel terror? Would you feel fear of just how powerful you could become?

I think that’s normal, honestly. If we all went around, totally uninhibited to connect with our God-given gifts and the divine spirit within us, the world would be a very different place.

So think for a moment how you could practice radical self worth this week, and how that could change your life, and the lives of those around you for the better. 💫

I hope your new year is off to a truly wonderful start. Have you made any resolutions? Are you opting out of making resolutions entirely? What’s something you are very excited for in the upcoming year? Do tell 💕

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If you read last week’s post, you knew I was a bit under the weather for this traditionally bustling week of reinvention and self-imposed thriving. I’ll be honest—though I am the type of person who becomes grumpy when “forced” to clear my plate and lie on the couch reading books and watching shows for 3 days in a row, I am actually glad to have had the excuse recently.

Year after year, I admit I do typically fall for the “new year, new me” fallacy and subsequent self-pressure. I convince myself that a newer, fresher, better version is just destined to come into existence on January 1st, and willingly run myself nearly ragged—physically and mentally—a few days before NYE and the first week of the new year in an effort to bring this shiny new me to fruition.

But last week, I had a proper chance to reflect and find the silver lining of why I could have possibly gotten sick, when I was genuinely putting in effort into keeping my body strong during Christmas with all the travel, germ exposure, and indulgence.

And what I came up with was that my temporary, well-timed sickness was a gift from God. Truly! I would have made myself miserable and set myself up for disappointment, as so many of us inadvertently do, if I hadn’t been couch-ridden for those exact few days.

Seems like divine intervention to me!

Well, as promised last week: my thoughts below on how the trendy beast of self care can complement the old-as-time, stalwart faith in a higher power.

Thank you for reading 💌

Let’s talk about self care. After all, my thesis of Modern Faith here—the overarching message I feel called to share—boils down to my belief that having faith in something greater than yourself is an act of self care. Bonus points if you make that faith a regular practice or cultivation in your life.

I’ve written about my belief that the divine resides within us, as our inner child, and even during hot yoga.

So now I’m here to say: tending to your mind, soul, and body (e.g. self care) will deepen and beautify your relationship with Source.

But I think self care and its sister wellness have gotten a bad rap the last couple of years. In the wake of a multi-billion dollar industry being made out of these practices, it’s easy to dismiss them as indulgent, frivolous, and even elitist.

After all, we’re most often exposed to these on Instagram where “wellness influencers” make a career of showing off their ultra-glamorous and ultra-glamourized lives of self care. Often, they’re selling or promoting something in the process.

And don’t get me wrong, I follow a good handful of these folks via Instagram, podcasts, and Substack. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with following people who inspire and motivate you to be a better version of yourself.

The downside though is that the more you’re exposed to it, the easier it becomes to confuse or conflate self care as performative consumption as opposed to reverence.

I’ve struggled with this balance over the years. I’ve pined for the most popular workout gear brands. Consciously tried to get the perfect photo of an otherwise offline nature walk to post. Worn one of those red light therapy masks that makes you look like a cross between a Christmas tree and Hannibal Lecter.

But the definition of reverence is a feeling of deep respect, awe, and admiration for something sacred or profoundly significant.

And let’s be honest, reverence and devotion are very personal things. They don’t usually look productive, impressive, or Instagrammable.

But reverence can be an extremely potent tool and motivator, especially when it comes to your faith. And what’s more worthy of reverence than the belief that there’s some force out there—call it God, Source, the divine, or whatever you like—guiding you towards your highest path?

When we recognize that we all came from this force, we recognize that it resides within us, too. So when we take good care of ourselves, when we tend to ourselves lovingly and with devotion, we tend to our relationship with Source, too.

When we nourish ourselves, we nourish our connection to God. When we’re kind to ourselves, we’re kind to the God within us. When we expand our minds and hearts, we increase our capacity for faith.

If the divine truly resides within you, then how you treat yourself is never neutral. Every act of self care — rest, nourishment, movement, attention — becomes a point of connection to that divine force. Self-care, then, is about honoring what is already sacred. It’s stewardship. It’s reverence practiced in real time.

So if faith feels abstract or distant, begin closer to home. Tend to yourself this week — not as a project, but as a practice. Care for your body, your mind, your spirit as if something holy lives there. Because it does. And every time you choose to care for yourself, you choose to have faith.

💫 Ways to level up your self care in a spiritual way this week 💫

• Make a commitment to yourself and follow through

  • This could look like: sitting down with a book or personal project for 30 uninterrupted minutes; trying a new morning ritual for 3 days in a row; eating a meal your future self would thank you for

• For 3 hours one day, challenge yourself to consciously remember that every person you encounter has as much divinity in them as you do

  • Optional: think to yourself each time, “the God in me salutes the God in you.”

• Move your body in a way that brings joy, thus honoring your soul’s container

  • This could look like: a stroll outside to soak up the sunlight; a workout class you’ve had in mind but haven’t pulled the trigger on; dancing in your kitchen to your favorite song

Their December Challenge, “Return to Magic” has involved fairly intense inner child work in an effort to reconnect with my most authentic, most loving, most divine and unadulterated self. I’ve had some ups and downs with it, every moment of which I’m grateful for.

There have been quite a few learnings, and this week’s post is really just a love letter to not only my inner child, but yours, too. We owe them for co-creating our unique, most authentic, irreplaceable gifts, and for enduring all they have in order to get us to the exact moment we’re at.

If you are unfamiliar with To Be Magnetic™, here’s the quick context. I do hope I’m doing the program’s purpose and ethos justice.

To Be Magnetic™’s foundational belief is that we manifest not from our conscious thoughts, but from our subconscious beliefs. So, it teaches that instead of forbidding negative thoughts from entering your mind about the things you desire, you need to tap into your subconscious and find out whether you truly believe—on a soul level—that you are worthy of those things.

With that, the majority of our subconscious beliefs come from childhood, specifically between the ages of zero and seven. Throughout the coursework, you’re taken on a series of “self-hypnosis” journeys through TMB’s Deep Imaginings™, many of which involve connecting with your inner child.

Now here’s where my take comes in, and part of what’s motivated me to begin this work: our inner child is the closest to God and the divine many of us will ever be.

Think of yourself when you were three years old. A time when your soul was still relatively new to this beautiful, scary, exciting, dark, lovely place, but old enough to know that you were your own being, with your own agency.

With respect to the family you were born into, three-year-old you was probably (hopefully 💗) bopping around, with an endless curiosity and zeal for discovery and nary a care in the world.

At this young age, you were one with the divine. Though it’s a magnificent force that lives within all of us throughout our lives, innocent children (and adults who have become self-actualized or “magnetic”) have a unique ability to live in concert with it—to be divine.

But as we age, we are naturally exposed to pain, shame, trauma, and programming. In other words, we see and feel the pain that comes from simply being a person in this unhealed world. We lose our innocence.

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When you were three years old, you probably had absolutely no idea of the expectations society, your family, your religion, your community, your friend group, and so on and so forth, would one day have of you. You probably felt no shame about the way your body looked. Felt no shame about any aspect of your personality, your tendencies, your motivations. You were utterly unadulterated.

In fact, the Oxford dictionary’s literal definition of “unadulterated” is: “Not mixed or diluted with any different or extra elements; complete and absolute.” Are you also a bit heartbroken by the fact that the English language needs a dedicated word to describe the break from perfection we’re all co-opted into by growing up and becoming adult?

At three years old, you were divinity. You were your truest essence, your truest, most authentic self, in all the beautiful and unique ways your soul co-created to be with God.

But thankfully for all of us, we have the chance to become one with our inner child again later in life. This is what I like to equate with your Highest Self.

Really, your highest self is your inner child. Your inner child was unburdened, blissfully unaware of the pain, shame, trauma, and programming that awaited it on earth. Your highest self, on the other hand is your inner child, but all grown up, having experienced the beauty and burden of humanness, and done the deep inner work to heal and come back to the essence of your soul.

And I had a thought the other day.

What if your highest self is already guiding you on every step of your journey? After all, the divine works through you, not of you. And because our souls are all on a continuum of love and light, our highest selves—the ones who’ve healed from pain, shame, trauma and programming are the divine! The divine is always within us—we just have to heal our inner selves enough to access it.

Those moments when you feel like the universe is conspiring in your favor? The times when you have a beautiful, soul-lifting interaction with a total stranger? The instant you feel your capacity to share love with others grow? That’s all God, my friends.

If the divine is within you—a shared force with your highest, most on-purpose, authentic, healed being—then your “highest self” is within you, too. Your highest self is looking out after you on every step of your Earthly journey.

And further! What if we have the power to be our own angels? What if the “guardian angel” notion so many of us grew up with is simply your brightest, most free, loving and divine self??

And if that’s true—if your brightest, most healed self is already walking beside you—then reconnecting with your inner child becomes less about nostalgia and more of a spiritual homecoming. Inner-child work isn’t about digging up the past just for old times’ sake. It’s about remembering who you were before the world layered its expectations onto you. It’s about creating enough forgiveness and goodwill so that your highest self can finally speak up and guide you.

It’s a nice thought, huh? That your highest self, in partnership with your inner child, is with you all along.

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This weekend, do something to honor your inner child—i.e. yourself before you knew any pain or programming existed in the world. You could:

• Return to an old favorite board game

• Write a letter to your childhood self

• Look through old photos or film of you as a kid

• Play a song you used to fall asleep to

• Watch an episode of an old show you loved as a kid (shoutout to Hannah Montana and Zoey 101)